Top Five Friday... er, Saturday: Top Five Resident Evil Bossfights

Would've put this up yesterday, but I hadn't finished Resident Evil 5 yet, now I have, so I feel ok with this list. Presented in order of how awesome the fights are. (Contains RE series spoilers!)

5) Alexia Ashford I, Resident Evil: Code Veronica The first time you fight Alexia, she hasn't yet mutated into a giant bug-thing yet. She has, however, just schooled Wesker, and that means trouble for Chris. With the right weapon (read: a magnum) she goes down relatively easily, but her fire throwing and acid vomiting means you have to be in constant motion not to get burned up.

4) Right Hand, Resident Evil 4 The Right Hand is like a combination Alien and Predator, with a little T-1000 thrown in just because. The only way to kill it is to freeze it with liquid nitrogen, the shatter it. This is easier said than done. Of course, if you keep that rocket launcher you find earlier for this fight, you won't have much trouble. That and the fact that you don't have to defeat the Right Hand to move on keep him low on the list.

3) G-Type 2, Resident Evil 2 You might think you've taken care of William Birkin, but you're wrong. While escaping the police station on a giant tram/elevator thing, he comes back, and he's mutated more. And he's pissed. He grows a giant Tyrant-style claw and comes after you. He's tough, and even a magnum takes a bit to bring him down.

2) Tyrant, Resident Evil The original final boss, this guy is still an icon of the series. A superhuman monster with a claw where his right hand should be, you take him down in the lab, after he kills Wesker. Or so you think. Both Wesker and the Tyrant survive, Wesker escapes, and the Tyrant comes to the hellipad for one last ditch effort to stop you from escaping. Only a rocket to the face stops the Tyrant.

1) Jack Krauser, Resident Evil 4 Let's be honest, the final boss fight in RE4 is a little weak. Saddler goes down like a chump if you've been managing your ammo at all. Krauser, though? Krauser's a bitch, even with a fully-loaded magnum at your side. First you have to deal with him and his machine gun, then you have to deal with his plaga-enhanced physique. And arm blade that doubles as a shield repels anything you toss at him. He's the baddest boss of the series.

Next week is Wrestlemania week! A week of Wrestlemania related content!

Think Nintendo doesn't care about you? Think again.

So called "hardcore" gamers and the internet at large (there's a big crossover) would have you believe that Nintendo no longer cares about people who got them where they are today. The people who stuck with them through the lean N64 and Gamecube years. The old school gamers. The ones like myself who were raised on the NES, and developed some kind of weird Stockholm Syndrome with Nintendo during the aforementioned lean years. And yet, I haven't cultivated this opinion.

Good thing, too, because if I had, Satoru Iwata's keynote speech at the Game Developers' Conference yesterday morning would've completely shattered the little microcosm full of nerd rage I'd fashioned for myself. In case I've caught you unawares, yesterday Mr. Iwata made a few announcements that were clearly aimed at the "hardcore" crowd. That whole storage space issue with Virtual Console and WiiWare games? No longer an issue. The Wii now recognizes SD cards up to 32 gigs, and games can be booted directly from the SD card. Retro gamers rejoice!

Retro gamers can rejoice further at the news that arcade games are now coming to VC. And "now" means right now. Both of the new firmware update and a few arcade games were available before Iwata's speech was even over. I have downloaded Gaplus and played it directly off of an SD card and... it works like a charm!

Oh, yeah, and Square's actually going to put the Final Fantasy series on VC and WiiWare. Final Fantasy IV: The After is coming to WiiWare, and all the (localized) NES and SNES entries are coming to VC in America (that's I, IV & VI, if you weren't sure). Now, you're probably saying to yourself that that has nothing to do with Nintendo, that's a Square-Enix thing. Well, dear reader, I don't know for sure, but I've got a theory to postulate.

Sqeenix has been renowned for their myriad excuses as to why these games would never come to VC. They came up with all types of crazy reasons (including a thin excuse about not having the source code anymore), but basically just ended up saying, in a roundabout way, that they make money re-hashing them and selling them for full price, so why let them go at the bargain basement rate of five to eight bucks? This leads me to believe that it was Nintendo who convinced Square (Blackmail? Endless cajoleing? Who knows?) to put these games on VC because the fans demanded it.

You see? Nintendo hasn't turned their back on us. These announcements weren't for my sister or my wife-to-be. They don't care about this stuff, they care if there's a sequel to Wii Fit coming out. We care about this. Nintendo knows we're the ones who kept them going during the Era of Darkness (N64/GC). So, I hope you're convinced now, in case the fact that a new Punch-Out!!, Sin & Punishment and Rhythm Heaven DS are coming out this year somehow didn't already have you convinced before yesterday's press conference.

"Give me some more music, I'll sit and read the lyrics like a bible, a gospel I'll sing along..." Less Than Jake @ the Rave, Milwaukee, 3/23/09

I think it's pretty obvious, but I'm just going to mention that this didn't go up last night because I was at the concert I'm reviewing. You know, in case that didn't click with you for some reason.

The first time I saw Less Than Jake was almost ten years ago at the Rave in Milwaukee. They weren't touring on any particular record, as the band is pretty much constantly touring, even if they don't have a new release. Hello Rockview was their most recent release, but they were touting the upcoming Borders & Boundries, which was to be their first independant studio record since their debut. They had just gotten their release from Capitol, and were now on Fat Wreck Chords. The Suicide Machines opened.

Flash forward to last night. It's been nearly ten years, I've graduated high school and college, but I still go see Less Than Jake everytime they come to town (and sometimes I go to Chicago to see them a second time), and this night I'm realizing that there're a lot of similarities to that night all those years ago. Now, Less Than Jake isn't touring on any particular record, as the band is still constantly touring, even if they don't have a new release. Their most recent release is on an indie label (their own, in fact, Sleep It Off Records) after leaving a major (Warner, this time). On the other hand, I didn't care enough to show up for the opening bands.

The show was the least populated of any of the 20+ times I've seen Less Than Jake, but you wouldn't know it to see the band play. They were just as fired up as ever, playing a smattering of songs from their seminal sophomore effort, Losing Streak, up to their latest, GNV FLA (their debut, Pezcore, got the shaft). They also played a couple non-album tracks, including a cover of a FreeCreditReport.com jingle that had me in stitches (the pirate one, if you're curious).

All in all, the band doesn't seem to have lost a step in ten years. Granted, I'm a superfan, and always will be, and I was with my roommate/best friend who's also a superfan, but I think even if you don't know all the words to all the songs and have a best friend who does as well, you'll still enjoy yourself. The band's aforementioned energy is infectious, and I didn't see anyone who wasn't at the very least tapping their foot in time to the music for the entire set.

Dueling singers Chris and Roger (Less Than Jake disavows their last names) continued their witty between song banter as they always have, and provided a much needed rest for everyone who was thrashing or skanking. During songs, Buddy (trombone) and Roger are almost never not moving, and Vinny (drums) has that look on his face that says "I love every second of this... and I'm a little drunk."

The band played a solid set of crowd favorites, and finished with a five song encore that capped the night with "All My Best Friends are Metalheads," which is a guaranteed crowd pleaser. The house was rocking, and that song really put an exclamation point on a set that was already great. Bottom line; if Less Than Jake comes to your town, go see them. You won't regret it.

Top Five Friday: Top Five Retro Remakes

The Midwest Gaming Classic starts tomorrow, and I've spent much of the week's free time playing the new Resident Evil, so I managed to come up with a Top Five that incorporates both classic gaming and Resident Evil. In this context, a remake involves all new assets/sprites, and not just a port with new dungeons/levels (sorry, Chrono Trigger DS). Presented in chronological order (US dates of remakes, not originals).

-Super Mario All-Stars (Nintendo, SNES, 1993, original games released 1986, N/A, 1988, 1990) Until the next entry, this was the template for remakes. Three of the greatest games of all time (and one of the not-so-greatest, but an interesting curiousity for us Americans anyways) all on one cart, all totally redone from the ground up to take advantage of the SNES hardware. The music is better, the graphics are better, and, apparently, reaching the lettered worlds in the Lost Levels was a way bigger pain in the ass in the Famicom version. This game still fetches high prices on eBay (even higher for the All-Stars+Super Mario World version), but it's very, very worth it.

-Resident Evil (Capcom, Gamecube, 2002, original game released 1996) For anyone looking to remake an old game, this is the game to play first. This is how it's done, people. New areas, new bosses, new weapons, new mechanics, but enough of the same to make it recognizable to fans of the original. An easy find for less than ten bucks, if you've never played it. If that isn't enough, Capcom just annouced that they're bringing the Wii version (with waggle) to America by year's end.

-Mega Man: Powered Up (Capcom, PSP, 2006, original game released 1987) Giving the original Mega Man two new bosses to bring it in line with the rest of the series was a good way to draw interest. The few people who were interested (this game did not sell very well, blame the platform) found more than just Mega Man with two new Master Robots, they found a fully revamped game, with almost entirely new maps and a playable roster that included all 8 Master Robots, as well as Mega Man and his sister Roll, not to mention Proto Man. Now, if only they would do Mega Man 2: Powered Up.

-Final Fantasy IV DS (Square-Enix, DS, 2008, original game released 1991) Yeah, I just shot some barbs Squeenix's way for all their tireless rehashes, but even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while. FFIVDS is amazing. Rebuilt entirely in 3D with voice acting and CG cutscenes, it takes my favorite game in the Final Fantasy canon and makes it palatable to today's audiences. It also makes the game somewhat difficult and fixes the horrible translation! Score!

-Bionic Commando: Rearmed (Capcom, XBLA/PSN, 2008, original game released 1988) And the hits keep comin' from Capcom! Bionic Commando: Rearmed takes the NES game and somehow makes it better. Allowing players to take multiple weapons and items into a level eliminates a great deal of frustration, and turning the final boss battle into an entire level was a stroke of brilliance. Riffing on the hokey script of the original game cracked me up throughout, and if that's not reason enough to buy it, there's always shooting Hitler in the face. There is no reason anyone with a 360 or a PS3 should not have this game.

Rediscovering Indie Comics

I enjoy comic books. I have since I was a kid, but in my college years, my interest in collecting waned, on account of being a broke student. At that point, I realized that the stories were all that interested me, not the collecting of individual issues, so I now read trade paperback almost exclusively (occasionally, things like Neil Gaiman writing Batman compel me to buy an individual issue here or there, but it happens about once every two years).

Lately, I've been reading alot of these trades I've amassed over the years, since my day job involves sitting and waiting for things to happen, and when things aren't happening, comics are an easy read, and offer a good break from a novel. Many of the books I've been reading (and buying) recently are indie books. Nary a cape or cowl to be seen, and it's occured to me that there are much more interesting things happening in comics today on the indie front than on the Marvel or DC front.

I'll just come out and say it, I think Eric Powell's The Goon is the best thing in comics today. It's got humor, action and zombies. Everything a book needs. On the flip side of that is The Walking Dead, which I have limited exposure to so far, but everything I've seen tells me it's a book to get into. An honest-to-goodness zombie book without too much of a camp factor that takes an extended look at survivors of a zombie apocalypse. (I have a thing for zombies, you see.)

I also recently read Scott Pilgrim for the first time, and I'm pretty impressed. The art is good, the characters are interesting, and there are more NES references than you can shake a stick at. It's much more interesting than the recent Marvel books I've read, that's for sure. (This whole thing with all the Skrulls? Not really feelin' it.)

Of course, I'm not unaware that indie books have been around for quite some time. One of my all time favorites is still Reed Fleming: World's Toughest Milkman, and I've been a Daniel Clowes fan since high school as well. Jhonen Vasquez has been cracking me up long before "Invader Zim" introduced him to the Hot Topic/Nickelodeon crowd (Zim is hilarious, don't get me wrong).

I'm also not trying to be that "indie-er than thou" guy. You know the guy, the one who doesn't like movies/music/comics that come from a studio/major label/big publisher. Yeah, I hate that guy. Studios make good movies, major labels sign good bands and DC and Marvel publish good comics (Batman being "dead" is mildly retarded, but Neil Gaiman's "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" is really, really good).

What I'm really saying here is, if you're a comic guy, and you haven't ventured outside of capes and cowls, or if you're not a comic guy because capes and cowls don't interest you, then check out some indie books. You'll probably find something you like that's not exactly what you expect. You might even find some capes and cowls you do like that you don't expect.

I recommend the following indie books:
The Goon
Scott Pilgrim
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
Reed Fleming: World's Toughest Milkman

And my buddy Kurt, who I've known since the first grade, is currently working on Blessed Machine, so check his stuff out.

"The dreams in which I'm [killing] are the best I've ever had..."

Anger management therapists should begin purchasing Wiis and copies of PlatinumGames MadWorld. It's a perfectly safe way to work out any aggression you might have. It's a game that gives you more points for more grotesque and contrived executions. It's stylish, and keeps its tongue firmly planted in its cheek, in case anyone had any ideas about taking it seriously. In short, it's right up my alley.

MadWorld is, as I've covered, the first release from PlatinumGames. In it, you play as Jack (just Jack), a new contestant on "DeathWatch" (what's with this developer and not knowing where the space bar is?) an Escape from New York-cum-Running Man style gameshow. The producers of "DeathWatch" have eliminated all paths in and out of the fictional Varrigan City, and are now running a gameshow which sees killing as the main objective for rich sadists the world over.

The plot is slightly more than window dressing, as it does go above and beyond the typical action game story. It involves more than a few twists, and can be credited to Yasumi Matsuno, who previously penned the much vaunted Vagrant Story for the original Playstation. Ultimately, though, the action takes center stage, and you can skip all the story sequences and get straight to the killing without feeling like you're missing much.

I can't say I recommend that, though. The game's script and voice acting are very well done. The cut scenes are very stylish, and made to look like a (Frank Miller) comic book. Steven Jay Blum of "Cowboy Bebop" fame provides the voice for Jack, and does a superb job. The rest of the cast is very nearly as good. Greg Proops ("Whose Line is it Anyway?") and John DiMaggio ("Futurama") provide side-splitting commentary, and though I've heard complaints of sports game-esque repetition, I only encountered it a few times (mostly during boss fights and Bloodbath Challenges). Danny "Bobby Budnick" Cooksey ("Salute Your Shorts," T2) even lends his voice to a young doctor Jack saves early on.

Now, the killing. As I said, the scoring system rewards you for the more creative kills. Many modern games have eshewed scoring, but MadWorld puts it to great use. Each level is like a mini-sandbox. You're dropped in, and you have access to all of the areas right away. This is where scoring comes in. The higher the score you get, the more deathtraps start up and items become available, with which you can unleash additional mayhem. Once your score gets high enough, bonus games called Bloodbath Challenges and eventually the boss fight for that area become available.

And the boss fights do not disappoint. Both the mini and main bosses for each area are creative and unique. They have unique patterns and unique methods for the quickest dispatch. Of course, each bossfight ends with a spectacular death scene, which uses the Wiimote to immerse you in the killing.

With that in mind, the game does avoid too much waggle, and stupid quicktime events. There are times that something similar to a QTE appears, but the motions always make sense (slash to lock chainsaws with a mini-boss) and aren't just an arbitrary combination of buttons, a la God of War. Waggle is only used for high power attacks and finishing moves, so your arm won't get too tired during combat.

Overall, this game is easily one of the five best Wii games available. For M-Rated fare, it's second only to Goichi Suda's amazing No More Heroes. Run, don't walk to a copy of this game. Especially if you have anger management issues.

Top Five Friday: Top Five Game Series That Need a Rest

So, in all forms of media there are those series that should just stop. They've been flagellated to the point that they're barely recognizeable when compared to their early iterations. There's Saw in the movies, spinoffs of Flava of Love in TV (or even spinoffs of its spinoffs) and, well, these five videogames. Presented in order of most dead horses beaten. (Note: Tab of "dead horses beaten" does not include phone games, or rereleases of previous versions for new tech)

Guitar Hero (8 games, debuted 2005): Harmonix was already milking the "yearly update plus spinoffs" bit when Red Octane took their ball to Activision, but Activision diddled this franchise to a whole new level. It's at the beginning of the list because it has the least iterations, but it's also by far the youngest series. Not even 4 full years out of the chute, and there're already 8 games in the series, 4 of which came out last year! And this year, Activision has plans for at least 4 more, with the first being the Metallica version coming at the end of this month.

Final Fantasy (39-ish games, debuted 1987 (in Japan), 1990 (in the US)): I'm all for the numbered entries in the series. They come at a rate of about 3 per generation (and there hasn't even been one yet this generation), and that's hunky dory by me. The spinoffs, pseudo-sequels, snowboarding games and remakes (My god the remakes!) are what drives me nuts. See, that's why the series has "39-ish" games. That doesn't include all the quick cash-in cell phone games or the remakes. So, that would take the total to something I'd need Doc Brown to calculate for me. I'm guessing a google-plex-ish.

I mean, I understand that the first game saved Square. That's fine, it's your cash cow. That doesn't excuse barely letting two months go by without releasing Final Fantasy: Some Guy with Bad Hair and Non-functioning Zippers on His Clothes Whines and Fights the Ultimate Evil Part XVI: Sometime Near the Crisis. Give it a rest, guys. Seriously.

Sonic (48 games, debuted 1991): Really, Sega? Haven't you figured it out yet? Every new "Sonic & his furry friends do stuff that isn't just running really fast and twitch platforming" game just takes more and more away from the legacy of a series that used to be competition to Mario. Give the poor blue woodland creature a break for a couple of years while you come up with something new for him to do. (PROTIP: Start with running really fast and twitch platforming.)

Mega Man (70 games, debuted 1987): Ok, I love the Blue Bomber as much as anyone, and I have the tattoo to prove it, but Mega Man is Capcom's most prolific star (and that's saying something!) and maybe 35 of those 70 games is worth playing. Now, last year's Mega Man 9 was, in a word, amazing, but that doesn't justify three versions of the mediocre Mega Man: Star Force, which was, itself, continuing the mediocre and over-exposed Battle Network series. One 2D Mega Man game every other year would be a wonderland, because I'm sure Capcom and series auteur Keiji Inafune would take the time and care to make it really, really good.

Sports games (NBA 2K, NBA Live, Tiger Woods, Madden, MLB The Show, MLB 2K, WWE Smackdown, etc.) (Too damn many, annual releases began in the 16-bit era): This has been a thorn in the side of many (gullible) gamers, myself included, since the 16-bit days, but, hey, everyone wanted to play with an updated roster. But even in the 16-bit days, we still usually got some gameplay innovation at the same time. Now, you basically pay sixty bucks for a roster update.

With DLC and every system on the market being hooked up to the intertubes, there's no excuse for this. Take some time EA/2K/THQ and make an innovative game. Use DLC and make me pay five bucks to update the roster once a year.