Wrestlemania is tomorrow, and I'm pretty excited. This year's card looks to have at least three outstanding matches on it, and several competent ones. This is a breakdown of the full announced card, and what I expect to see in each match.
-Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Gail Kim & Beth Phoenix vs. Vickie Guerrero, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Layla & Alicia Fox If more than two of these women had any wrestling chops at all, I might be excited for this match. As is, a "meh" is all I can muster.
-Triple H vs. Sheamus I'm not even sure what these two are feuding over. It was like sloppy last minute booking. "Uh, Triple H doesn't have a 'Mania match yet... what's the Irish guy doing? Nothing? Great, book it!" The match will probably be passable, but ultimately, it'll be Triple H doing all the work. No one cares about Sheamus, even when he was the champ, his promos were greeted with apathy at most, people getting up for popcorn at worst.
-Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy vs. Evan Bourne vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston They crammed ten guys into this years Money in the Bank, but I think it was better when it was six. The more you get, the bigger a clusterfuck it becomes, but it should still be fun, with plenty of highspots. Smart money's on either Drew McIntyre or Kofi Kingston to walk away with this one.
-CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio (If Mysterio Loses, He Must Join the Straight Edge Society) This match may be the surprise match of the show. Rey's frequently been in short matches at 'Mania (including last year's win over JBL which took all of eight seconds), but this match should be given a lot of time, and if it is will get the crowd in a froth. They love to hate Punk and they love to cheer Rey. Look for Punk to go over and start a long term program with Mysterio in the SES.
-Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase They seem to be gradually turning Orton babyface, which I simply cannot understand, given his amazing successes as a heel. He's as hateable as anyone, possibly save Jericho. My hope is that the match ends with Rhodes and Orton turning on DiBiase, and Ted Jr. coming out the de facto babyface and starting a feud with his ex-stablemates.
-WWE Unified Tag Team Title Match: The Big Show & The Miz (c) vs. R-Truth & John Morrison Last year at Wrestlemania, the Tag Titles were unified in a dark match. This year, they'll be defended during the broadcast. The unifying of the titles has led to them getting a bit more high profile, especially following Jericho & Big Show's lengthy run with them prior to dropping them to DX. Look for ShoMiz to retain in a brief, but entertaining match.
-Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon in a No Holds Barred Match In the standard Vince at Wrestlemania match, look for the boss to get beaten severely and tap out to the Sharpshooter. It won't be a technical masterpiece, but the crowd will eat it up.
-Career vs. Streak "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker in a No DQ, No Countouts Match This is the same match that stole the show last year, and you should expect no different this year. Yes, they're both getting older, but they both pull out all the stops for Wrestlemania. Look for the Undertaker to get the duke in an instant classic.
-WWE Championship Match: Batista (c) vs. John Cena While shitting on John Cena is the internet's favorite passtime, I actually happen to like him. In his matches, he sells beautifully, which makes him a great babyface. He's got excellent fire, and a good sense of the crowd. Tragically, Batista is awful, and will drag this match right down. Cena will go over in what's ultimately a dull match.
-World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge This match deserves to be the main event, but it will probably go on before Cena/Batista. Still, this feud has been boiling since Edge left with his injury. These two guys are among the best in the biz, and I expect this match to be worth the price of admission alone.
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